The Top 10 Ways I Procrastinate

© American Dad!

© American Dad!

ESPECIALLY on Sundays.  Oh how I put off things on Sundays…  The following is based on real conversations with my long-suffering boyfriend. 😛

10.  Decide I need to get myself organised ‘n’ shnizz


Me:  “This Trellmo app thingy is the best thing ever!”
H:  “It’s called Trello and yes it is.  How’s the to-do list looking?”
Me:  “Brilliant!  I’ve listed down all the comics I wanna buy off Amazon!”
H:  *sighs*

9.  Get all gourmet in the kitchen


Me:  “This recipe calls for truffle oil.  We need truffle oil!”
H:  “I thought you were making toasted sandwiches.”
Me:  “I’m heading to Tesco, I’ll be back soon!”
H:  “Would it help if I just grated some–“
Me:  “See you soon!” *jingle of keys followed by the creaking of the front door*
H:  “Well okay, but we need milk too!”
Me:  “Alrighty!  On it!”  *door slam*

8.  Realise I need to jump on Amazon real quick


H:  “Hey!  I thought you were doing your taxes!”
Me:  “I am!”
H:  “You’re on Amazon.”
Me:  “Yeah, but only for a second.  I forgot to buy that Archer book.”
H:  “You don’t need that.”
Me:  “But it’s the ultimate guide to espionage and style, it says so in the title!”
*one hour later*
H:  “Any headway with the tax?”
Me:  “I found South Park on special!”
H:  “Dammit.” o_O

7.  Going out sounds like a good idea


Me:  “We need fresh air!  We need sunshine!  We need to LIVE!”
H:  “Pub lunch?”
Me:  “Pub lunch.”
H:  “But only a quick lunch.”
Me:  “Real quick.  Super quick.  It’ll be fine, plenty of time to work in the afternoon!”
*five hours later*
H:  “We’ve just gotten home.  It’s work time for real now!”
Me:  “But it’s dark now.  Oooh let’s watch another episode of Inside No. 9 instead!”
H:  “…’kay!”

6.  Learn a new Disney song on the guitar


Me:  “We got no troubles, life is the bubbles, UNDER THE SEEEEAAAAA…”
H:  “Do you think it’d work if I did percussion with pencils on this table?”
Me:  “Onwards to the stationery cupboard!”
H:  “You mean the bookshelf?”
Me:  “Yeah the bookshelf!”

5.  I gotta try out this new bubble bath


Me:  “I’m holing up in the bathroom for an hour!”
H:  “Why?”
Me:  “I’m planning on smelling like a giant strawberry.”
H:  “M’kay have fun!” 😕

4.  Think of what I’ll name my future cats


Me:  “Marmalade would be a cute name for a ginger cat!”
H:  “Yeah, food names for cats seem to be really popular.”
Me:  “I’ve heard of a chocolate brown cat named Cadbury ha ha!”
H:  “What about an overly aggressive name?”
Me:  “That would be fun to shout out loud so the neighbours can hear.  “MEGA DEATH LORD!  MEGA DEATH LOOOORD!!!  YOUR DIN DINS IS READY!!!”” 🐱

3.  Get all gung-ho about fitness out of nowhere


Me:  “We’re getting fit!”
H:  “Yeah!”
Me:  “We’re getting in shape!”
H:  “Yeah!”
Me:  “Are you ready…to WALK!?  Woo yeah!”
H:  “Walking?  I thought we’d be jogging?”
Me:  “Oh HELL no!”

2.  Get all philosophical/hung up on conspiracy theories


Me:  “Have you ever thought about our existence?  Imagine if we were just in the imagination of a brain in a jar!”
H:  “Because if that was the case then doing today’s chores wouldn’t matter, right?”
Me:  “Well exactly!”
H:  “You’re going to spend the next half an hour Googling this theory aren’t you?”
Me:  “Well, let’s say twenty minutes.”
H:  “You do realise half the day’s gone, right?”
Me:  “The truth is out there!

1.  It’s late now, time for some TV

© The Simpsons

© The Simpsons

Me:  “Isn’t it relaxing catching up on TV after a hard day’s work?”
H:  “You had a hard day?”
Me:  “Well, not really.  I started creating a shopping list on Trellmo; read a recipe on how to make a gourmet burger; looked on Amazon for a bit; ate a pub lunch; played “Under the Sea” on guitar; had a walk and a bubble bath; and now I’m watching Venture Bros. with you.”
H:  “So a productive day all in all?”
Me:  “It’s a hard life but someone’s gotta do it.” 😉

That’s all for now, ladies and germs!  I’ll love you and leave you with this hilarious video on exactly how not to get your “stuff done”.  Take care and I hope you have yourselves a brilliant week ahead! :mrgreen:

5 thoughts on “The Top 10 Ways I Procrastinate

  1. You know I feel as if I should pick up some of this habits, I don’t much go out nor do I ever search for things to buy anymore, it just all doom and gloom from looking medical bills and whatnot. I should get some fresh air for once – wait I can’t I just had surgery…grrr one day!

    • I am sorry to hear things have been bleak since your surgery! 😦 I hope that you heal up ASAP and will be able to return to a normal routine soon. I and your many other readers are all rooting for you! 🙂

      • Thank you, it means a lot to me because I was left “alone” be those that called themselves, my friends. Feeling abandon and forgotten is one of the worse feelings ever

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